Today is 4th of October .
6 more days to go for Xu's birthday .
And I still can't get her the Doraemon .
Doraemon is easy to find.
But the problem is , She don't want the cotton type .
I already hunt for this doraemon for few weeks already and get no result of it .
I felt like I'm really useless , just a small thing . And I cant find it .Haizz .
I can't give her big prize or any meaningful gift .
Just a small gift I also cant get for her . I will feel regret if I can't get for her .
But recently , I felt negleted . I felt so lonely .
She doesn't sms much with me . If it's about work and she ignored me , I wouldn't mind .
But she said she is busy chatting . May I know , is chatting really need so much attention until you can't stop for awhile and reply ? I don't understand .
Everytime I msg her 3 times , she only reply 1 time . Ok , maybe I'm too selfish , only care for myself . Never think for her side . Until I am scolded by her , that I'm troublesome .
This word really hurts me . And that awake me at the same time .
I should not be too selfish .
So since that day , I try not to msg her much . Everytime Im trying to do like that , my heart ache one time . Sometimes , I will try online without her attention using MSN to check whether she still online or not since she didn't reply me so I assume her sleep already . But everytime I saw her still on , I felt like ....I dont know how to describe . I really wanna ask her " WHY YOU DIDNT REPLY ME, DONT TELL ME YOU ARE BUSY CHATTING AGAIN " But I just don't dare to say that , I really scared we will argue if I said that words .
I remembered I got say we play XDO together right. So sometimes , when I saw she off .
I will play XDO , and play the same song and repeat and repeat again .
The song called Because You Live . My tears come out when I play this song again and again .
It makes me recall back the sweet memories between me and Xu . But recently she just cold towards me . I really scared she is getting bored with me . Everytime I play that song , My mood will down . i really scared she dont want me already . I got thousands thousands of intention to call her . But everytime I wanna call , I will think first . Is she playing game? Is she busy chatting? Is she busy working also? This makes me cancel my intention . I don't wanna let her thought that I am disturbing her . Even sms also can't reply , if call then how? You can imagine .
It seems like It's a little bit off topic . Ah , well , I get an address from my friends said that there's a toy shop there might be selling the doraemon that I want . So , I will be going soon to find that . Im giving me a big hope for that . Just wish I'm going to get the doll .
Notes :
I'm actually have written this in my diary quite a days already..Though it's a little bit too late to write this post..But it's still from my heart xD
Mother's Day is in the corner . I don't know what to give for my mum . Every year , I bought either cake or treated her . I bet my mum is fed up with these already . Hmm..there is an event in SDO-X . It's about a greeting for mother..I've joined the event ..and hope I could win it ^^
Oh yeah , any suggestion from you guys ? ......Ah , forget it..No one will reply ..I better go ask my friends .. See ya..And for all,hope you will celebrate Mother's Day with your mum ^^
Here's the greeting that I have sent for the event :-
You’re my friend and adviser all rolled into one, a kind and caring person and such a lovely Mum. So, though I rarely say it, I hope that you can see, I’m really glad you are my Mum and you mean the world to me
The name's Daniel Chong Yoon Leong 17 this year and I'm from Malaysia I guess that's the only intro from me ^^ A big fan of japanese and korean stuff especially Visual Kei..for people who don't know what's Visual Kei please go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visual_kei
Add me in msn danielchong3@hotmail.com If you wanna know more about me.
