The Streamroller Of Life.

Time really don't wait us . Without realizing , it's been half year since you left us . We never mentioned about you anymore . But we all know, you never gonna disappear in our heart . Because you once treated us with your heart .

But Mum , I need to say sorry to you . That I couldn't keep my promise to you . That I will take care of brother and sisters.

I don't know what's going on the Yoke Wah's life right now in Singapore . But I have no problem with her as she has the capability to work independently at other country . Perhaps she got her own problems but I believe she can solves it herself . Besides she still got boyfriend and friends there . So no worry about her .

Lil bro is the most problematic right now . I don't know how to guide him to a better future . Instead , I should say I don't have the qualification to guide him since I never took care of him in the past .... After all these happened , I really realized that I'm a fucking selfish person that only care about myself. Relying on you to take care all of us . Now that you're gone , I wish I could stand in your place to teach and guide him . But I know he won't accepts that .  He's on his own now .. I know he needs someone to understand him , despite that , he's being contradicting himself by closing himself not letting someone to open up his heart.
All I can do right now is only giving him advises so that he can at least learn few of the advises .

Youngest sis is doing good too . But sometimes , I hopes that I could get closer to any of them especially this sis . Such as , asking opinions from me about her studies , friends or maybe love life? Haha . But nope , none of that will happen since I never concern about them in the past . I don't know whether it will be too late to take action now .

I'm a very passive brother . I don't take action to find them despite knowing I'm the eldest brother , I should do all these stuffs . Therefore , I did called them sometimes asking about how they're doing . Told them to ask me if they don't have enough money . There's the only things I could do as their brother . I could not step any further to their hurt . It's very disappointing when I thought of that . Such a failure brother I can be . Such broken family we had right now . The bond were broken ever since you left us . You're the only one that I have ever relied to . Maybe because of that , I've relied too much on you . I take that as granted . I'm truly sorry , Mum . I'm truly sorry that I could not keep our promise ...Even until the end , I still could not ...