The Streamroller Of Life.

Never look at your life as something insignificant . Never forget,those friends of yours that you loved .



Looking up at the blue vast sky , I had a lot thoughts and feelings onto it .
Sometimes , you felt relaxed looking at it . And sometimes felt sad .
No particular reasons . I just felt that way .

It's been 3 months since mum had left us . Everything just seems so fake to me . But I'm gradually accepting the fact she had really left us .Although I still miss her so much . I would think of her till I'm being scolded by my colleague for not doing my job . The more I think , the more complicated is my feeling .

The other day , my uncle brought grandparents to "问米" . Some kind of summoning ceremony . So ,uncle called me and told me that my mum really missed us .She was sorry for leaving us . And couldn't let us go . Tears started to fall over. I couldn't replied my uncle for awhile . Then uncle continued to tell me that she really died in vain . And not merely by accident. She cannot tell the truth . But she said she deserved it of what had she done in the past . It maybe fake but I chose to believe it because it may be the last message from her . I love you , Mum . If I'm given opportunity , allow me to be your good son again in next life. NO , I must be your son once again .

What will happen tomorrow?
No one knows . But that makes our life interesting , not knowing what will happen every secs , every minutes . We are trying hard to make our life much better but things don't go the way we want usually  . Obstacles all the way in your life . 

But have you ever thought that all these obstacles are making you growing up every days?
I have hard life currently . Been down for months . But still need to go on our life .
Learn through all the hardships I had  . So, we gotta live at our fullest every day no matter bad or good things !

Recently are in love with WU KE QUN's songs . I found that his most of his songs really did came across at my life's part . Learn a lot from the songs . Guess I'm being one of his fans soon LOL .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aLEwHJEtp0

This song is quite meaningful . One of my favorite right now . Touching T___T


I'm trying to do some business . Not really a BIG one . Just tryna earn another small earnings apart from my main job. About what I'm gonna do . Not really gonna tell right now . Maybe after when I already thought of everything first . Let's just wish me luck alright? No time to enjoy life anymore . Not anymore . GOOD LUCK ! RYUJI ! Friends won't get you anywhere, at the end you gotta rely on yourself too .Somehow I do hope I could find a TRUE friend some day . Not greedy . Just One enough. One Enough ...


你问我 明天过后会如何
冰天雪地里我们怎么活着
我笑了 笑你太傻又太笨
但自己心中却决定了
我相信抱着
你的手就温暖了 - 





Forced myself to wake up at 7 a.m  because I gotta fetch my little sister to my aunt's house . She's currently helping my aunt to work during summer break . Good things that she's learning something  .
So yea , we grabbed the bike and then moved out from the house at 7.30 a.m . Was very cold early in the morning . Is that what mum's been thinking to herself while fetching my sister like what I did now ? I gradually starting thinking in my mum's place . Not easy . Just not easy ...

Finally "delivered" my sister to the place safely haha xD . Watched her went in then only leave . Then I looked at my phone . It's just 8 a.m . So I decided to pay mum a visit . Grabbed few fruits to visit her .
But unfortunately , I have to stop under the bridge due to the heavy rain . But that's not gonna stop me from visiting mum .  So I waited like 15 minutes and the rain still did not stop , I couldn't wait so I wore on the raincoat and went to mum's place . It is a temple . I thought the place would be a good place for mum . Peaceful and beautiful at the same time .

Went there and had a small talk with mum . Told her how good our lives are . That we can live independently . So don't worry . But I still can't stop my tears from falling down . The fact of you leaving this world was too cruel for me . I wished it's just a dream . If it is a dream , please wake me up , mum ...But that's not gonna happen . . . Everyone told me to let go already . But I told them , how could I let go my mum ? It's impossible ..

Then I continued my daily routine back , that is Work , Home , Internet , Sleep ....That's all for today .

Only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live . You never cherish for what you've got until you lost them .  Appreciate the things you have now . Be grateful .



Just came here to write out things that I won't really talked out with anyone . Being unable to talk out with friends, I can only spit it out here . A place where not really much people will pay attention at it , which makes me more comfortable to tell out everything that have happened .

My dearest mum just passed away 2 months ago . I wouldn't tell detailed story about her . Just gonna say, it's related to the last posts that I've posted here . Ever since mum left, my burden increased . I won't complain as that's how my mum been bearing all these years . Being the eldest , means being responsible to take care of the family . My siblings are still young so I need to guide them to a better road . Being eldest , also understand mum the most , of how she worked hard to take care of us all no matter how hard for a single mum can do .  Simply said , mum was too naive and kind . Mistrusted someone which caused the death of my mum .

2 months have passed . The incidents still remain vividly in my memory . I just can't imagine how hard and suffering my mum had bore for all these years . Never being able to enjoy her life , not being able to see all her sons and daughters graduate ,  work  , and married . The most regretful thing is that I will never ever have the opportunity to let me take care of her back . Mum . Thanks for taking care of me . You always thought of us no matter what you've done . I love you .



This morning , I accidentally cut my finger while I'm about to shave moustache . So I had a bad feeling for today.
It's not that I believed all these stuffs . But that's what happening to me today .

When I'm about to go out . I received call from my mum . She was in deep trouble due to some circumstances .
She needs money to solve the problem . Actually , I already lent most of my savings to her . But still not enough to help her . She begged me to get her the money . It's not a good feeling having mum begging for you . I said I'll get her money no matter what .

Thinking which friends could help me... But it's really hard for me to ask from them . I don't like asking from friends . But how pathetic or embarassing it is ,  I still need to do it ... It's for my mum .
Asking friends like I'm a beggar or a person whose in debt ...Hate that feelings .
Most of them couldn't helped me . Can't blame them as they really can't help me .

So I continued to ask ask ask . I had to bear the feeling when asked my friends . And it's awkward when they rejected you ...
But , I still finally collected the money and gave it to my mum . I don't know whether she can solved it or not .
But, let's just move on first . What happens next , then only face it again . No Big Stuff !
No matter how pathetic am I , as long as it matters my family , I will do it ... =)

Just can blame myself for being so helpless . That little amount I also don't have .. F**king SUCK !
Just when I'm about to get my life better , I fall down back again .
Can't I be more useful ?



Not long ago , "A" asked me why I love to ask people cry . I am the first person who ever said that to "A" .
Actually no reason .
It's just , from my point of view , cry is part of our body emotions . We don't have to hide it . We don't have to act strong all the time .

Cry means we had been strong for long . There must be a time where we will fall apart . But do not feel embarassed or scared being laughed . No one would do that . Because true friends will be there for us .

Cry means being ourselves . Because I felt if just hiding your own emotions . Never cry when you should . It's like not even being ourselves anymore . Most of you all think , cry is the sign of weak . I won't deny that , but we won't be strong forever .

Remember "B" ?(If you read my blog)
When I told you to cry when you should . You started to cry .
Ever since then you blamed me for changing you . But I don't see the wrong with it because you are becoming yourself =) .
If that makes me wrong then blame me for making you becoming yourself . I would love to do that .
I know a lot of people won't agree to my opinion .
That's just my point of view . I feel Cry when you should , is when you starting to become stronger .
Stand up from where you fall down .
Never give up .

But I certainly won't agree crying over small cases lah !!!!

-哭是因为逞强了很久-

What's wrong with me ?
Suddenly so active in blogging haha .

So as I posted yesterday . Today going for Karaoke Session with one of my friend , Supposed to have another one , but he last minute FFK . F**k Him =P

Don't mind don't mind . And so , my friend and I went by taxi  early in the morning . Really sleepy haha but excited for karaoke session .. TOO LONG NO SING LAAAA !!!

I don't like to go with a lot of people because won't have any chance to grab the mic ! haha .. and sometimes they will pick songs that you don't even know what the hell was that?
Used to hate karaoke session very much , because everytime I went also got a lot of people . So I ended up sleep there  Used money just to sleep .

But ever since I went alone ( Due to some reasons )  . I started to love sing K . Felt like you can release your stress , your emotions all in once out . Then slowly friends told me that I actually sing quite good  and therefore I started to love singing and practice more . Although I don't talent for that , but it's fun ...I enjoy that moments .  No matter how bad mood are you , after that you'll feel like the burden on your shoulders is already lighten .

Karaoke Session Rocks =)

-男人喜欢呆在KTV,唱着青春随风远去的回忆-

What's wrong with me ?
Suddenly so active in blogging haha .

So as I posted yesterday . Today going for Karaoke Session with one of my friend , Supposed to have another one , but he last minute FFK . F**k Him =P

Don't mind don't mind . And so , my friend and I went by taxi  early in the morning . Really sleepy haha but excited for karaoke session .. TOO LONG NO SING LAAAA !!!

I don't like to go with a lot of people because won't have any chance to grab the mic ! haha .. and sometimes they will pick songs that you don't even know what the hell was that?
Used to hate karaoke session very much , because everytime I went also got a lot of people . So I ended up sleep there  Used money just to sleep .

But ever since I went alone ( Due to some reasons )  . I started to love sing K . Felt like you can release your stress , your emotions all in once out . Then slowly friends told me that I actually sing quite good  and therefore I started to love singing and practice more . Although I don't talent for that , but it's fun ...I enjoy that moments .  No matter how bad mood are you , after that you'll feel like the burden on your shoulders is already lighten .

Karaoke Session Rocks =)

-男人喜欢呆KTV,唱着青春随风远去的回忆-

Just few days ago , I just went to ask for gym inquiry .. After went through few gymS , I finally found a gym nearby my living place plus cheap . NOTES: Is super cheap !
If Leisure Mall Fitness First is RM210 per month , then this gym MUSCLE UP is 3 times cheaper ... Only need to pay Rm70 per month . So I looked around the gym, although it's quite small and narrow but the equipments are definitely complete I guess o.o ( since I not yet do Gym yet)

When I first entered that gym , I was shocked for awhile . Because you can only see muscular people inside . Totally can't even see thin or some slim zombies inside. Seems I'm the only one who look weird in the gym at the time ( One of the zombie XD ) .  Haha . Too awkward !
I believe I will join them soon . So I asked for the fees and membership . Reach my satisfactory and my budget so will be going apply this Sunday and started do it !! Huat Ah !!

Let's improve my life thoroughly =)


By the way , let me introduce a song for you all . I think it's pretty simple and relaxing. Actually it's addicting for me. I listened to it for whole day already . Oh my god.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJS9IgWd0nk




Going for Karaoke Session tomorrow . Been a long time since the last time I went . Can't wait to sing out loud till sore throat . Hoho . So tonight gonna go sleep early . I wonder if my friends can wake up early tomorrow . Lol =.=

Decided to have healthy lifestyle from now on. Not gonna have some lifeless schedule such as going for cc for whole day anymore .
Need to improve , Improve and IMPROVE . That's only thing I could say to me . Wasted too much time in my life . quite pathetic .

Wanted to study back but this opportunity already slipped away from me forever . Let's just focus on the career =)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJS9IgWd0nk 
zswasd

Wow wow wow ..
Again very long time to renew my old dusty blog .
Seriously, I'm too lazy to update it . In fact , I got no time to renew it hehe (maybe??)

So I have been okay for these few months . Get into a job as Technical Junior Support . Not exactly my type , but well , you gotta live on  if you don't like too .
But trust me ,  I'm doing okay =)

Been eating too much these days , I even have belly o.o . WOW . They still call me thin . WTH!
Oh well , will gonna let them suprised as me and my friend gonna go for Gym .
Have no idea why suddenly wanna go for Gym . It just that the passion suddenly come to me. I'm gonna make sure it's not gonna leave me easily . For the sake of my hot body !!!(In future )
I believe it won't takes long to shape up my body heh.  Can't wait for it ...

I have been trying to improve myself all the time . And now here's my opportunity , I won't give up easily .
People say , We improve is to impress someone . Somehow I disagree with that saying . I felt that , we improve is to treat ourselves better . That should be more accurate isn't it ?

I had list out my wishlist . So sad that , I couldn't even achieve one of the list . Pathetic .
Gonna work harder . Hmmph!!! My dream !

I felt like I keep talking gibberish here . Doesn't make sense at all ...Aiks -0-

Music

Followers