Finally , it's Christmas .
This year , I'm not joining the countdown at Pavillion .
But we had gathering today . Ya, we had fun , we met everyone . Somehow , just couldn't get excited for it .
I mean , not really happy ..A sudden pang of loneliness overcome me.
Just don't know how much I miss You . I had fun , I am happy ,I entertained everyone ... but without you there , it was meaningless . Hah , just how much I wish you could be there celebrate with me .. I had the same feeling with you , seeing many couples together , won't make me feel any better too ..
Hard ba, be with me ?
But that just won't stop us from being together right?
加油吧。
I will find you when I got the chance. That will be , for sure.
So , don't be sad. Always loving you .
Almost 4 a.m ,gotta go sleep . Tomorrow got second gathering . I will have fun as much as I can .
Lastly , Merry Christmas Everyone X)
20th Dec 2010
That afternoon , We were preparing for the trip to Ipoh ... Not going to play . But going to erm ,paying respect to my grandfather . Relocating his graveyard.
This time , was the first time , Whole family going Ipoh .. my father's side one la~
Ipoh , my old town . A place where I was born , where I had a lot of friends , where i learned many stuffs ..It's actually pretty memorable .. Going back Ipoh makes me feel nostalgic . Looking back the environment , it doesn't change much , yet I am feeling strange to it .. A place that once my closest place , no longer mine .
Sitting in the car , looking outside ...Those memories are still vivid ..Very memorable . After all , that's my old town ma XD
We reached around 8pm ba ..(Forgot =.=") All my relatives already reached haha .. Greeted each other .. then we started to play cards , as usual hah~ After that , we call it a day .. because going to wake up early the next day .
21st Dec 2010
Apparently everyone is not having enough sleep . My cousins were so funny , they couldn't sleep and woke up at 4am , and decided for morning jog ..They got called me , but I simply ignored it ..haha acting sleep .
At the end , they were chased by dog haha XD. And so around 6am , we started to go to the graveyard .
Ceremonies are being held there .After that , Eat all we can haha .. I ate damn lot that time .
First , Mee-hun , Big Pao , Pork , Chicken , Banana , Orange !! Wohoo !!!
haha . Seriously , eat non-stop on that day .. I wish I could get fatter !! But , nothing changed. I'm still that thin haha . But yea , I already promised Vicky that I'll get Fitter .. Once I said that, no one gonna change my decision .. =)
That's all . basically , we're just eating whole day haha . Reached home at 11pm ... fucking tired and late ..
Preparing to sleep , before sleep , I chased vicky sleep too .. haha She such a baby , anything also need me care . That's all for the Ipoh trip , nothing interesting actually ..
Christmas is coming ...I was wondering how this year Christmas will be .. Really hope , that It's gonna be a good day for me .. after all Christmas is called as Season of Miracle .. Miracle? Hmm .. X)
Gotta go .. Bye
Hey guys , I just back from Genting Trip ..
It was supposed to be NewGenz (XDO Guild) gathering , but it was canceled ..
So I'm just hanging out with my friends up there ..
Wasn't really fun at the first day .. Very bored =__=..
Couldn't get to meet her that much .. Really disappointed and sad ..
But nvm , still satisfy that I could met her , right?
We'll get better X) . Don't worry . Don't because of small stuff then affect our relationship k?
She went back . and I stayed overnight for one more day in Genting .. It was fun the next day .. Not bad =X
Failure ahhhh ...
I thought I was a good person to start with ..
I thought I could care you .. Won't hurt you ..
I promised you not to hurt you , but at the end , I still did it ..
My curiosity exchange with your sadness ..
If I would have known that , I swear I won't even try to think about it .
Baka de me ,
Never thought of your feeling .
Baka de me ,
wanted to slap myself ..
Baka de me ,
So wish that you could just hit me ,instead of crying alone .
Give me one more chance ...
I promise to treat you much better ...
I wanna take care you , Forever .
I wanna protect you , Forever .
Just one more chance ...
To let me prove that I am good enough for you ..
Just one more chance ...
To let you feel you are happy with me ...
I'm sorry . And This will be the last sorry from me , because I ain't gonna do something stupid to hurt you anymore . .
Nothing stands still . There's a saying that goes " if you stop moving, you will get run over" .
The business circles have this oft-said mantra : "If you stop growing , you start dying."
It seems every bit of advice on personal growth seems to centre on continual improvement ,continual progression and continual evolution .Doesn't it sound tiring ? I know some of you are thinking , " This is crazy ! You mean our whole life we've just got to keep on moving? If not we will actually get run over? Life will actually come by and streamroll us?
Yes, put up your hands in despair at the crazy situation of it all . Get angry about the rat race . Disconnect yourself from all the gadgets in your life . throw them all away and release yourself from the grid . Go where no one can find you , where this streamroller of Life will not run you over if you choose to stop moving and growing . Go off to your island , sleep in a hammock all day and hunt for wild pheasants all night .
I , however , would like to point out the reality . In order for us to achieve success in our lives , we have no choice , but to keep progressing and improving . Life doesn't like people who stand still . There is evidence that if you don't keep yourself busy after you retire , your brain stops working and you age faster . If you stop thinking, you stop being . You have officially been run over by the StreamRoller of Life and don't even know it .
Ignorance may be kind , but in this case , it's not going to be kind to your wallet . So keep moving . Keep coming up with something new . Suprise everyone . Suprise yourself ! Never , ever settle in a been-there-done-that rut . It's the only way you will survive the long-term ,
Beware the Streamroller of Life .
Finally , I stopped my job.
Unemployed does relaxing , but I'm getting lazy .
Need job A.S.A.P . haha .
Recently I know a girl . Kinda fond of her but , I need to think properly whether I should chase her or not ..
Not really sure . Doesn't matter that's not the main point for my post today haha .
Will I really can earn money in the future??
See first then . Most important , is the attitude .
Hardworking I would say , but I lack of this ....
Being urged by my parents , being really desperate of getting money ...
The current me is totally a rubbish ..Ya , I agree =D
What will I be in future?
Recently many things happen .. Don't have the mood to post out yet .. I'll post up when I'm back to normal
Haha finally , my mum decided to divorce with my dad .. it's within my expectation . Every day argue . Until my mum sleep different room with dad . It's been already half year since the arguement .. Finally , they are going to divorce. My mum called me just now and told me everything , and said that I as the eldest son should help take care of the family . Of course I would ...But well , for now .. I don't think I can't accept this ...Hah ..
Tomorrow will be the day for me to go out with friends to Genting.. I'll take that opportunity to make out my mind . No choice, it's their choice .. There's no return back for them . I won't stop them . I'm thinking whether I'm going to live with my mum or dad ...
I have always wanted to express my feeling inside the blog . But , knowing no reason , that I couldn't post nor expressing here . There's so many I wanted to tell out , but I got stucked and ended up posting post with only few sentences .
Lifeless huh? Guess so . I have been struggling too much being the hopes for everyone . Since small, since my childhood, I have been thought as a intelligent kid..Being looked so high up that myself couldn't even reach . "Pressure" I would say . Finally , I , 19 years old already , Stopped studying ..Couldn't hold up the pressure , I could only giving up and choose to become an ordinary brat . Being so naive dreaming to be a successful student . Things doesn't go that well . How I wish , I'm a kid ..Thinking only toys and games without worrying other stuffs. No more .
I have been running away everytime Im having a problem .. Ya, that's the type of person I am . A timid , coward brat ..How I wish to run away from house without carrying any burdens , how I wish I could just quit away my jobs .. But I couldn't .
Bah . This sucks . Bye
Yesterday late night at around 4 a.m .. Just finished playing at cyber cafe . Planned on how to go genting with friends . After that , I fetched my friend back home but he got no helmet . So I fetched him with risk. But shit , fucking bad luck , we were caught by 4 polices . Great =) . That time , I was using my dad's old motorcycle with its road tax expired ...Damn .
So here's the conversation between me and the police .
Police : Kenapa x ada pakai helmet ? Lesen mari . Road tax juga .
Me : Ork . (Show him lo)
Police : Lesen P , mana P depan belakang? (because my dad's motor don't have P sticker ) .
Me : x ada .
Police : Kenapa hantar kawan x pakai helmet , kalau kawan awak pakai helmet , saya xkan tahan kamu . Lesen P kamu akan dimatikan .
Me : Ork ( I was like =.=") Abang~ saya ada Rm30 bagi awak minum teh boleh?
Police : (He smiles) Oh , x boleh , sini ada 4 orang , x cukup .. Rm50 .
Me: (Show my wallet to him) Saya ada Rm30 saja ..
Police : Ok ok , cepat cepat ..Jangan bagi orang tengok .Tapi kawan awak kena saman x ada helmet .
Me : ok ok ~~
Settled~ but shit =.=" wasted Rm30 .. all because my dad's motor haha ..
Woot , once again after so long since the last time i have posted haha .
Really lazy to write blog XD
Ok as title said above , WCG is coming. This time I'm aiming for Regional Champion and Top Ten for Grand Final .. Well not that confident to strive for that but I take it as an Aim . No matter how high the Aims are , I'll try my best to get it haha ..
That's all , I really had no idea what I wanted to write ... Ya perhaps my life has been repeating the same , so I don't think I need to repeat this at blog too . Hah . Ciao .
Hey guys ! I'm back .
Fuu, new life started .. Recently into few part time jobs haha ... I joined Amway too, and also planning to work as part time promoter ... now even in SDO , I also can earn money . haha .
What to do , poor ppl of course need to find HOLES to earn money lu~
And so yea , NnA is my guild .. but already half dead, but I'm trying my best to revive my guild =)
New members had joined our guilds . Excited and happy . And then, we are trying to design a shirt for our guild ~~
Hey all ,
Recently has been too lazy to update blog, nothing much to tell actually . New looks for blog .
Woot, oh yea ! I'm going to resign this month because I'm going for Insurance agent. Erk busy, i'll update soon if i free
Woohooo , CNY finished , back to work lu~~~
Nothing special about CNY though , for me gamble is the only thing that i did during CNY ..
Gamble gamble gamble ...until Sot . But also good geh , because I sapu my friends .. =.=" won like rm400+ ?
Haha , and so yeah , I broke up with Nii .
That's all .. Shit , feels my life is getting boring and boring . Not much incidents . Argh !!!
Dear diary ,
Many things had happened , there's good and bad news . I'll just start from beginning . I had another accident , fortunately , I just scratched my elbow . I started to feel that , my motor ought to be serviced haha .But CNY now , many shops closed . XD
Oh ya , during Valentine day , I got new girlfriend . She's NiiNii , a pretty girl , funny and hilarious , she's talkative , somehow , I just love the way she laugh , her every actions can make me giggles every time . She cares about me , she loves me . Slowly , I am attracted by her too . I think I love her . I shall forget my past , and start a new life . Nii is a good girl . I don't want to hurt her anymore . I wanted to say to Nii .
I love you , yes only You . No one anymore . I'm sorry that I hurt you so many times , I didn't mean it ..But from now on , my heart only got you . Please give me one more chance would you?
During Chinese New Year , I gambled a lot haha . Yay ! I won a lot too . Lol , and so yeah , I am slowly loving you deeply . I just hope I won't be hurt anymore . Eh? I thought I got a lot of things to talk . lol ..But i can't think of anything to write anymore . Guess I'll just stop here. Too long is not a good thing too haha .
I felt as if my life had no real value to anyone, and thus no value for myself. For me, this was worse than "death", because death seems a relief from loneliness. After death, I thought, there is probably nothing - and nothing is at least less painful than loneliness. For the tears of loneliness are one of the most painful experiences I have ever felt in my life. They are not tears of the body, but those of the soul.I wondered, why live when it seems so much easier to be dead? To be born into the world with so many people, and all your life feel alone.The present and the future seemed to stretch out into one long eternity. To tell you the truth, I did think of ending my life. But my heart told me, "That is against the law of nature." Were I to end my life, I think I would have only been creating more suffering for myself in the next life. But if an angel had come in those dark times and asked me if I wanted to leave this world, I would have gladly gone with her.
And that is how I knew I was in hell. If heaven is the place where you never want to leave, then hell must be the place where you always wantto leave but can't. The place worse than death. And for me, loneliness is such a place, and it is one such a hell. Always wanting to leave,but not knowing how, seeing no way out, and no one to save you. And this hell was inside me, and I carried it everywhere I went, all the time, unable to be free. If only an angel would come and deliver me, for I did not know how to deliver myself.
But such an angel never came. Nobody came. Nobody came to save me.Nobody came to understand. The only person in the world, it seemed, was me. I was all alone, as it had always been, and seemed it always would be.
And in this darkness, I saw the only way out into the light… love. Love can save you. Love is the only way out of hell. Not someone loving you,because you can never expect anybody to love you. But you loving someone else. If no one loves you, at least you can love someone else.Love, without expecting love in return. There are others who are suffering in the hell of loneliness - love them so they need not suffer as you have suffered. Live so that others need not experience the hell you have experienced. A gentle eye, a kind word, a helping hand, a patient ear, a generous smile… these are the free acts of love you can give to ease the suffering of others. These acts of love take away loneliness - both their loneliness and yours. And they add to love -both theirs and yours.
I can't guarantee anyone will ever love you back in the way you need to be loved. Love is always a choice, made freely by people and by fate. But I can guarantee that the love you choose to give freely, returns to you freely to live inside your heart. As love lives, so you live in love. For in the love you give to others, lies the seed of heaven. The hell of loneliness you once felt gradually fades away into the past .Love has the power to transform hell into heaven.
If you don't understand any of this, then you are lucky, because you have not experienced the hell of loneliness, and so do not understand its language. Perhaps you live surrounded by love - or perhaps you feel you do not need love. But if you do understand the hell of loneliness, then know you are not alone. I know it may seem no one cares, but I care. That is why I write this for you. To let you know that you are not as alone as you may believe. And you need not envy those who never seem to have been lonely, for you are lucky too.
Yes, you are lucky too, even though you may not see it now. You are lucky because you have the chance to be stronger than others, for true strength is born from the ability to accept and overcome weakness. You have the chance to not fear death, for those who have been to hell no longer fear death. The chance to know how to love, for those who have never been loved have no choice but to love others - or die. The chance to always carry and feel love inside your heart, for that is the beginning and ending place of all love. To be a true survivor, for only those who have suffered can be said to have survived, and it is only the survivors who can become the true leaders. It is you who are lucky,because you have the chance to gain the power to transform hell into heaven, for only those who have been to hell can transform it into heaven.
-30 January 2010-
Holy crap ! I was 4 days late for the blog haha XD .. Too lazy to blog lei ...Then my friends keep urged me to update my post haha . And so here's the latest post lo .
So yeah , I went for 2nd outings with Susu and Mono again . This time Qiqi joined our outing . Was pretty fun .
But it's tiring . haha . Thanks to Mono ( you know what happened , haha) . I woke up at 7.30 a.m because the pain of my finger woke me up . Oh yea , I never mentioned about it yet . I was involved in an accident ! Hah , don't worry , it's just a small accident . I know you all want me hurt that badly ..Hmmpph .. But too bad , I only injured my finger . Lol . Haha.
Back to the story , Woke up at 7.30 am , then then went to fetch Susu together for our adventure haha . We totally don't know which directions that we should take . We only went based on the paper that I have written >.< . Luckily , we got the right direction ! HAH ! How pro am I ! Ya, Only me , Susu you shoo! Hng ..
But we got lost at the middle of the road , haha but at the end we still managed to find Mono's house =____= . You have no idea , how DEEP is her house . lol . If you ask me to go her house once again , I sure forgot the way to go her house again lol . We reached there around 10.30 am . And so I called her , and she just woke up . Haha , really kns . She'll pay for that =) .
We waited for her to prepare everything . While waiting, suddenly a police car approached us , then checked our I/C and my license lol . It was my first time o.o" . Funny , the police asked for my P license , but I gave him L license , almost got saman haha XD . Then I had a short conversation with the police lol . They're just doing their job to prove that they are not lazying around .
And yea , we continued to wait . Finally !! We went to Kepong with Mono's car . Haha, She drove ! No , I don't wanna drive lol XD . Let her practice lo .RAWR .Reached at Jusco around 12 pm? After that , Qiqi came and so we begin our activities !! We bought our ticket first . Haunted University =___= . I'll tell how's the movie later . It was 18+ , so we ought to show our I/C lo , and that stupid Mono !!! She left her I/C at her car haha , 20 years old with small body , No one is gonna believe that she is 18+ unless she showed her IC .Haha okay ,now she got her I/C and then we showed to the cashier there , then I told them , "She's the oldest among us lei , Don't see her small small nia LOL"
Mono was pinched by me very badly to pay back us for waiting her lol . Qiqi was a little bit quiet. Maybe she's not used to us lo .She was pinched by me too hahaha . Susu molested by me , Yahahah . Bully programmes succeeded! But I was bullied by them too =.=" . Haha . We went for arcade and we had fun . Actually only Susu and I had fun =.=" . Mono and qiqi dont wanna play . Qiqi looked bored . lol.
Oh ya , always lose to Susu . Faint .
Then we went for movie lo! Totally don't understand the movie . It was comedy for me , instead of a horror movie =.=" . Laughed for whole movie . Faint . But it was fun to scare Mono and susu hahaha !!! After the movie , we went for cc . Not a good idea =.=" . Mono and Qiqi totally doing nothing there !! I mean , they were not having fun lo . Qiqi =.=" . Macam moody for whole day . Faint .
After that , we went back lo ...RAWR . We sent qiqi home first then we had our journery back home too .
Mono drove again XD . Darn , she went to the wrong road . It was Thaipusam that day , she went to the congested Batu Caves there . Omg , jammed till no eye see . We were stucked at there for 2 hours . LOL . Kns mono !!! But nvm la , we had fun also what . We had a very long conversations !! haha XD .
Reached at 10 pm =____= . So late and starving . Don't care anymore , I dragged Susu and Mono go for KFC LOL . haha . They ate spicy one . I don't really like the spicy one . Don't ask me why , I don't know . Maybe I don't like spicy . haha . Fuu . Forgot take picture . XD . Susu's starving face , Mono's baka face while eating chicken lalala XD . Thanks for caring also haha . Brought me to clinic , because finger really pain dao beh tahan . But closed , thanks anyways haha XD . Good friends lol.
And so , our gathering ended here lo . Looking forward for other hang out haha . Love to hang out with you all . Luckily rain stopped when Susu and I back haha XD . As always , Susu hugged me so tight . KYAAA XD . But he gradually get used to it already haha. Not so scared anymore hahaha .
Ok la stopped here . So long nia >.< . Must be tiring to read. MORE tiring to blog lei LOL ..
请放手.
好让别人有机会爱她.
如果你爱的人放弃了你,
请放开自己,
好让自己有机会爱别人.
有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的,
有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的.
人生中有许多种 .
但别让自己为一种伤害.
有些缘分是注定要失去的,
有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的,
爱一个人不一定要拥有,
但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她.
男人哭了是因为他真的爱了.
女人哭了是因为她真的放弃了.
如果真诚是一种伤害,
我选择谎言;
如果谎言一种伤害,
我选择沉默;
如果沉默是一种伤害,
我选择离开.
如果失去是苦，
你怕不怕付出 ,
如果迷乱是苦，
你会不会选择结束,
如果追求是苦，
你会不会选择执迷不悟 ,
如果分离是苦，
你要向谁倾诉,
好多事情都是后来才看清楚,
好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦
男人,请了解及珍惜你们的女人
2. 如果你的女朋友指出了你的不是，請不要總是嫌她嘮叨，若不是因為在乎她不會說你；
3. 如果你的女朋友和你賭氣不理你，不要也學她，這正是考驗你們的時候，“面皮厚”的精神此時不發揚又更待何時；
4. 如果你的女朋友不聽你的話，轉身走了，一定要追上她，若真的還愛着，丢下她一個人你又如何放心呢；
5. 如果你的女朋友說“你走吧，我不想理你了”，千萬不要相信，女人最是口是心非，其實那是她最需要你的時候；
6. 如果你的女朋友生氣了，說心情不好不想食飯，千萬不要問她想做咩啊想吃甚麼，她一定說甚麼都不要，買好你記憶裡她最愛吃的東西（最好是有包装的，這樣等她心情好了再吃也不會冷），但一定不要以自己也不吃來威脅她；
7. 如果你的女朋友在每個月的特殊時候，請牢記，别問她吃不吃冷飲，常将手放在她的肚子上，夏天也可以，她需要那樣；
8. 如果你的女朋友對你們說狠話，請保持三秒鐘不說話，然後攬過她的肩，笑笑說：“老婆，你講話的聲音真可爱！”
珍惜你們的女朋友，不要把她們想的壞想的複雜，女人要的永遠最簡單！
24th January 2009
It was the first time I am going to meet Mono and Susu . Pretty excited for the outings . You know what?
Susu was like a girl ! I never heard someone cut hair cut till 2 hours plus . First time meet and he already so late lol . Poor Mono , she has to wait for us haha .
So yea , I went to fetch Susu . It's his first time to sit on motorcycle . He hugged me LOL . He didn't even know that's holder at the back . I can tell that he was very afraid during the ride haha . He hugged me so tight . Why I don't blame him . I can tease on him lol .
Around 3 pm , we reached Sunway Pyramid . Without wasting any time , we headed straight to the cinema and meet up Mono there haha . She was a short and small size girl though she's 20 already . So we picked Tooth Fairy to watch . It started at 5 pm . So we went for a walk . We had fun at arcade . And stupid Mono she took pictures of Susu and me playing games lol .
Tooth Fairy is a nice comedy . Not bad la . Then , during the middle of the movie , an old man came and sat at my beside . He didn't even watch the movie . He went there just for nap . He was so scary . His snoring was so loud . Faint . And he didn't change his phone into silent mode. What a jerk .
So around 7pm , the movie finished . So again , we went for a walk . We played la . Both of them were bullied by me very badly haha . Poor Susu , let me molest . And Mono let me pinched !! haha .
Hope they are not angry or blame me ... Really wish they had fun ..
And yea , that's all for the outing . Nothing much because of SUSU . LOL . just kidding . Not angry at all . We still got time for other outing .. Such as next week? Expecting to see Qiqi and 4ever love(If she come) .Gonna bully them also hahahah XD . Qiqi you cham !
Gotta plan how to go . Haha and buy us insurance because Mono gonna drive us to Kepong . Wonder whether it'll be okay or not . But never mind .
Alright that's it , I'll update blog if I got any special events .
Sorry Susu and Mono for what I did to you both , and thanks for the outing .
I had fun . Hope you guys too .
-21st January 2009-
Again , it was a tiring day . But it was actually not bad for having such tight schedule . At least I don't have time to think other things.(Ahem) . Today was really tiring . So I decided to skip my 2nd job and went for nap . I lied to my boss that I'm rushing my office work haha . I had fun today .
I reached home around 7 pm . And then I straight went for my bed and sleep . Around 10.30 pm , I woke up because I suddenly recalled that I promised Kns Qiqi to skype with her . Skype with her very boring ah haha XD .. Kidding . It's better if more people are joining our conversation . Nippon , Max , Mono and Susu joined the conversation . I really LMAO .. Had fun with them . I laughed like hell .. People in cyber cafe thought that I'm some crazy idiots that come from somewhere else lol . But I don't care. I'll be myself =) .
Suddenly , I felt that I kinda like this lifestyle . Haha . It would be better if I got my own pc at home .Ngek ngek . That's all for today .
Oh Ya ! Happy birthday Qini , my dear friend XD
